The Ballad of Mick & Kelly

(Picture taken at Tal Bachman’s costume party in Victoria Saturday, February 23, 2019)

The following video is of great significance.

In it, Kelly is with her friend Julie Demelo (who took the video) on a girl’s getaway weekend on Saltspring Island and in the video, they had happened to drop into Moby’s Pub for a bite to eat where Marc Lafrance, Dave Reimer and myself happened to be playing. In this video we hadn’t even met yet. As a matter of fact, I was only to say a few garbled words to Kelly the next day at an outdoor market.

More on that below the video:

Our regular touring schedule with The Randy Bachman Band took a left turn in 2015 especially for Marc Lafrance and I.

Randy Bachman had acquired a record deal through ‘True North Records‘ and decided he wanted to try something different. When Randy Bachman had last talked to his friend Neil Young, Neil had mentioned to Randy that if he acquired a new record deal, he should do something with it ‘outside of his comfort zone’ for the new album.

Randy had watched a female drummer named Dale Anne Brendon play in a performance of ‘Tommy’ (The Who) on a night when Pete Townsend was in attendance for the performance. Randy had heard of Brendan years before, but that particular night her ‘Keith Moon‘ style made him really take notice.

Watching Brendan that night he had an idea about what he wanted to do. He had recently seen ‘Prince‘ perform on TV with an all girl band. Randy thought the concept looked fun and decided then and there that he would do exactly that. Enter bassist Anna Ruddick (Ladies of the Canyon) who had studied at McGill University in Montreal and had her own pedigree.

Randy had recorded the album called ‘Heavy Blues‘ with Brendan and Ruddick in late 2014.

It wasn’t completely thought through however, because they were going to tour this album with just Randy, Brendan and Ruddick. A challenge was, Brendan and Ruddick didn’t really sing at all. As we all know, when a fan base goes to hear their favourite artists in concert, they will tolerate the odd ‘new song’ but what they came for were ‘the hits’. A good portion of ‘Randy’s hits’ don’t have him singing lead vocal on them, and indeed they are out of his vocal range. For that reason (and at last minute), Randy decided to add Brent Knudsen to ‘the girl band’ while on tour with so he would have a second guitarist and someone to sing the ‘other songs’. I’m sure it was a lot of work for Brent, because almost all of those songs he had never sang before. Indeed, when we played with ‘The Randy Bachman band’, I sang a great deal of the Burton Cummings and Fred Turner catalogue, so I’m not even sure if the live show with ‘the girl band’ (as our road crew called them), was thought out particularly well.

Aside from this debacle, it also left Marc Lafrance and I in quite a jam in 2015 because not only were we suddenly not playing any tours with Randy as we usually would have done, Randy had now also poached Brent from our band “Cease & Desist” for ‘the girl band’ so now we had to scramble to put together players to fulfill our personal dates which was how we made a bulk of our living away from Randy Bachman tours. If the truth be known I’m still pissed about it all even at the time of this writing…and it came within inches of splitting up Cease & Desist for good at the time… a shame in hindsight.

Now that you have the background, let’s get on to ‘The Ballad of Mick & Kelly’ shall we?

Our friend Dale Schweighardt had fairly recently (at the time) acquired the ownership of Moby’s Pub on Saltspring Island. Saltspring Island is nestled about a 30 minute ferry ride away from the Schwartz Bay Ferry Terminal, the main ferry terminal to access Victoria, BC from the British Columbia mainland. From that terminal, you can reach a number of the smaller islands in the area and Saltspring Island is one of the more popular. Dale had reached Marc and asked if we would like to play his new bar. Dale had previously managed and partly owned a bar in Sechelt, BC but opportunity knocked for him to own his own bar on beautiful Saltspring, so he jumped at the chance of being the sole proprietor of his own ‘already established’ place.

At the same time, Kelly’s best friend Julie had an old school friend with a large home on Saltspring Island with a complete guest suite attached.

When Julie and he had talked, he had invited her over to enjoy it and said that if she wanted she could bring friend. When Kelly and Julie arrived on that Friday, then hadn’t eaten yet. Looking for a place to eat they heard about Moby’s and stopped in to have dinner and a glass of wine. Since Brent was away with Randy on tour, Marc and I enlisted Dave Reimer to come over to Saltspring Island with for the weekend engagement. So as fate would have it, Kelly and Julie walked into our first set and sat down about 40 feet from the stage. I immediately noticed them. They weren’t the average tie-died/lumberjack look that seems to permeate the Saltspring nightlife at that time (sorry). Far from it!!! From where I was on stage with the lights in my eyes, it appeared that both of these women were very beautiful, and the taller statuesque one particularly caught my eye… but it was hard to tell from my vantage point on the stage. On my break and because I am so ‘woman savvy’, I immediately ran upstairs to a ‘closed off to the public’ second floor so I could take a better look peering over the railing without appearing to be ‘staring at her’ from across the room.

(Side note: Trust me guys, even in the best of situations, when you stare at a beautiful girl you don’t know across a room, you will not accomplish anything but make her uncomfortable… don’t do it… You’re welcome ladies…)

So here I was… virtually right above Kelly who was unknowingly sitting, talking animatedly with Julie. I was literally staring at her without her knowing. (Okay… yes… sounds like a stalker… but no… I hope)

When it was time to start our next set, I adjusted a light that was in my eyes so I could peer out the odd time to see if they were enjoying the show. I closed my eyes while I sang a particularly heartfelt song. When I opened my eyes at the end of it their table was deserted. They had left!

The rest of the night went well, although I wondered who these girls were…especially the tall one who (in my eyes) looked like a model.

The band was staying in some cool rustic cabins up Lower Ganges Road about 2-3 miles (5-6 kilometres) from Moby’s Pub and the downtown core. Waking up that Saturday, Marc, Dave and I decided to venture into downtown to see what was happening. As it turns out, there was a Saturday craft fair in full swing when we arrived. They had many booths set up, snack areas and street entertainment.

Like these guys:

Dave, Marc and I walked around for a while. After a time, Dave was much more interested in ‘talking shop’ with the artisans who had their wares on display than Marc and I were, so we parted company; Marc and I going away from the booths, Dave diving head first into them. (Side note, Dave Reimer builds incredible instruments and as of this writing his Reimer basses especially are popping up on TV shows and major tours worldwide. Please check out Reimer Guitars) 

Marc and I had just had an ice cream cone, when all of a sudden there they were!

I said to Marc,”Those two girls were at the club last night!”.

He said, “Oh yeah?” Marc is totally devoted to his wife Dorota and probably didn’t even notice them sitting there the night before. If the truth be known, I hadn’t even mentioned them to Dave and Marc on the way back to the cabin after our show the night before, or early that morning even though I was personally still wondering what planet they had dropped in from. They couldn’t be from Saltspring…that much I did sense!

As fate would have it (and possibly with a little redirecting my steps) we found ourselves face to face with them.

I got out the words, “Hey weren’t you at Moby’s last night? We were playing there” …which to hear Kelly recall it now, came out somewhat like this, “Bubbliyyre-brrr-fitz-fer Urga”

I then said, “My name is Mick and this is Marc”… which once again came out sounding more like “Ex-fertin-mago-grundi-frrt”

She laughed and said, “Pardon me?”

Again I did my best to get my name out and my mouth must have finally worked because she said, “Hi my name is Kelly and this is my friend Julie, We really enjoyed you guys last night!”

I was so clumsy. I was embarrassing myself and I knew it. However, before we quickly parted company, I did say that if they’d like to come back to Moby’s that night, I would buy them some wine. (I noticed what they drank the night before as well…did I mention that?)

I remember saying to Marc, “Oh my god – that Kelly girl! I really like her”… Marc laughed and said, “Ya, I can tell!!!”

I had decided the year before to not get into another committed relationship until I had my act together. I had, had a couple of relationships after my almost 30 year relationship with my first wife Joanne. The first one after my marriage was so toxic and excruciatingly painful (in all senses of the word), I try not to think about it. Another relationship was just so plain weird I had to get out of it before it got even weirder. Due to that, the last relationship I had had, I felt I was simply not ready for an actual relationship. I was pretty mixed up about the other ‘messes’. I didn’t want to be a part of any more hurt and chose to not continue that last relationship I was in and take a long ‘time out’. By the time I first saw Kelly, I felt I was getting to be the best version of myself.

After the girls walked away, Marc and I went to find Dave to go back to our cabins. Dave told us he wanted to stay as he was enjoying talking to the craftsman at the market, so Marc and I took the rental van and drove back without Dave.

About two and a half hours later, Dave phoned me to say that the walk back was more than he expected (indeed it was all uphill from town), and would I mind coming to get him. I said, ‘sure’  grabbed the van and drove back down the road  to town. When he got in, I asked Dave if he had a good time and he replied in the affirmative.

Dave then said, “Hey…did you see those two girls that came into the bar last night?”

I said, “yeah……”

He said, “I ran into them and had lunch with them… we talked for the past two hours… they’re really nice!”

I said, “Oh cool…”- but inside I was dying. Dave had no idea I was already totally ‘ga-ga’ over Kelly. I didn’t say anything more as we drove back up to the cabin.

That night I was fit to be tied. What if they didn’t come back? Could I actually get some real words out? Would she talk to me? Was she single? I didn’t know a thing yet.

On our first break they walked in and sat at a table slightly closer to the stage than the night before. I summoned up all my courage to walk up to the table to ask if they’d mind if I sat down.

I was about 8 feet from their table when Dave walked up to them and promptly sat down. In mid-step I turned around and walked back to where I was. Dave is a great conversationalist and I knew I didn’t stand a chance in the same forum with him. It wasn’t that I was concerned about Dave ‘scooping this vision’ as Dave was in a committed relationship at that time. It’s just that I was so shy about it all, I knew I would just end up sitting there like a piece of driftwood while the conversation went on without me. Once again I retreated to my perch above the bar and gazed down forlornly listening to the canned house music.

We then played our second set.

At the end of it, the girls got up to leave. I walked over to where Dave was already standing with them to say goodnight and to thank them for coming. I overheard Dave say something to Kelly about ‘Facebook’.

I walked out to the back kitchen door and watched them get into the car and drive away. I would never know anything about this girl and I was totally smitten. Worse than that, I thought I would never see ‘Kelly’ again!

The band ended the night, packed up and went back to the cabin. The next morning as we were about to leave for the ferry, I decided to take a look at Dave’s Facebook friends list, and there she was! She had just been added I assume.

With a push of a button, I asked to be a friend on Kelly Gillow Munro’s Facebook. I saw that she had accepted me a little while after. I was elated!

Two or three days passed until I had enough courage to actually comment on a picture of hers. It was a comment on a series of pictures of her I assume Julie took when they were on Saltspring. It wasn’t so creepy to comment on a picture taken where we both just were was it? She actually replied back sweetly and I felt totally at ease with the way she made me feel with her words. She seemed like a very nice person right away. She didn’t come off as an uppity or an ‘all about her’ type of person whatsoever.

We talked about how I had lost my mother, brother-in-law, wife (actually… many, many people) to cancer and that I rode my bicycle every year from Vancouver to Seattle to help raise money for Cancer research. She spoke of how wonderful she thought that was as she had painfully watched her mother die from it as well.

I also learned that she worked as a data analyst for the BC Trauma Registry, and had offices in both hospitals in Victoria that she went back and forth to. I learned that she loved her two beautiful daughters immensely and had a great family life with her father Doug and sister Cathy who had just moved to Victoria from Alberta after her marriage had split up. I learned that Kelly had her own home and that she had a very busy schedule with her youngest daughter’s dance schedule and that she had a great social life with a lot of quality people in it.

After 4 months of texting, emails and the odd time talking on the phone, I finally had the courage and wherewithal to ask her out to dinner.  She said she would love that.

The plan was for me to ride my bicycle over to Victoria from my home in Coquitlam. I would get a room downtown for the night, and we would get together at a place of her choice. I was as nervous as a 12 year old.

I checked into The Strathcona Hotel on August 9th, 2015. I chose the Strathcona because I had played there many times over the years and still had a great rapport with Joel Chudleigh who was the head of sales and the Olsen brothers who still owned this ‘family run’ hotel. I was familiar with the place and they would surely give me a good price on a room. The fact that it’s strategically placed in downtown Victoria was another huge advantage.

When I arrived, I put my bicycle into lockup, checked in, went to my room, unpacked my back pack, ironed my wrinkled clothes and showered about three times. I didn’t need it – once was surely enough…but y’know…nerves.

I had forgotten that Kelly said we should meet at the bar in my hotel, then proceed to the ‘Tapa Bar‘ for dinner. It was light fare and a great place to have a conversation with a relatively new person.

Now in my mind, all I remembered was ‘Tapa bar’, so I got ready for the scheduled time, GPS’d the Tapa Bar and walked the few blocks to wait for Kelly to arrive. I waited…. and waited. I didn’t want to appear rude, so I figured I wouldn’t text or call to ask where she was… I would just wait for her to arrive on her own time clock.

After a while, I got a text from Kelly: *I’M HERE*

I looked around me and said *SO AM I*.

She said *I DON’T SEE YOU – I’M AT THE BAR*

I said *WHICH BAR?*

Kelly said *AT THE STRATHCONA* (Place Homer Simpson ‘DOH’ here)

First date off on the right start… way to go brainiac!

I said, “Okay I guess I made a mistake. I’m already at The Tapa Bar. Wait right there and I’ll come right back to the Strathcona. She assured me that I should stay since this is where we were going to eat anyway. After about 15 very long minutes, Kelly Gillow Munro walked into The Tapa Bar and into my life.

After we ate and chatted each other’s ears off, we decided to take a walk downtown. Kelly said a beautiful place to walk would be the ‘Breakwater’ at Ogden Point which is exactly that. It’s near downtown, but it was better for us to drive to it. We got into that very Hyundai Sonata that I had watched her drive away in from the kitchen door at Moby’s a few long months earlier.

As we walked, I took the liberty to grab her hand. She didn’t turn it down. I was in heaven.

It was a misty evening…not quite foggy. The lighthouse at the end of the breakwater caught my eye.

I said, “That looks like ‘forever'”

She said, “What did you say?”

I repeated what I said.

She said, “I like that…forever…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On September 19th, 2015 after watching how wonderful this beautiful girl was with everyone she met, I blurted out “I Love You” on my couch in Coquitlam.

We had just dined at a favourite Italian restaurant called ‘Rosa’s in Port Moody near my home. They don’t allow reservations, so if it’s busy, you can stand in a line-up for a very long time. That night was one of those nights. Kelly didn’t complain at all… and in fact, engaged with many people in the line up and made it a very pleasurable wait for everyone. I was now completely sure I was the luckiest guy in the world just to be in her company.

Every day was excitement. I did worry however… Kelly had made a bit of a pact with herself that she would never have a long distance relationship. With me living in Coquitlam on the lower mainland of BC, and Kelly in Victoria on Vancouver Island, it was indeed just that. To visit each other was a minimum 1 hour drive on each end of the ferry, the waiting for the ferry and the actual 1 3/4 hour ferry ride itself – easily a 5-6 hour trek from start to finish. Somehow, she felt it was all worth it and decided to give her pact with herself a little rest at least for the time being. We certainly had a wonderful courtship overall.

We became each other’s confidants as we talked every morning on her way to work, generally every lunch hour, every night on her way home from work, at least once a night after that and then a goodnight call. When I played locally in the Vancouver area, I would generally call her on the way driving to the gig, on breaks, and (if she was still awake) on the way home from my gig. If we didn’t talk, there was always, always a goodnight text or message left. Some may call that, ‘a bit much’ but when you don’t live in the same area of the world (especially if I was on tour with Randy or with one of my many other acts), it was a necessary and meaningful way to emulate the closeness you would experience living in the same area. In fact, we were so close, we probably talked more than most couples who actually lived in closer proximity to each other. In a way, it was a great way to ‘get to know’ each other without being faced with ‘too much time’ together while still learning each other’s ways of doing things. I could analyze all day as to how or why it worked…. but, I’m just so grateful that it did.

Kelly and I had our first few days away October 30th, 31st and Nov 1st of 2015 at The Cox Inn in Tofino, on the West Coast of Vancouver Island. It was a bit of drive. Tofino is one of the most lovely places on the planet and is about a four and a half hour drive from Victoria and about a 6 or more hour drive (with the ferry) from Coquitlam where I lived. It was our first trip together. Would we get along?

It was all wonderful once again.

In February 2016 (Feb 11 – 18 to be exact). Kelly and I made a trip to Maui. We had the good fortune on being able to have our accommodations covered through a friend of mine that lived there with an empty condo on the water for us. I had so many points saved up from all of my touring worldwide with Randy that the plane flights were covered as well. Once again, we hadn’t spent so much time alone together yet, so it would be interesting to see what would transpire. Although I already knew by then that Kelly was ‘THE ONE’, Kelly has often said that the Maui trip was the time together when she realized that we could truly work as a couple. That trip to this day is one of our fondest memories so far. Thank you to Steve Gatchell for making it all happen for us!

The rest of 2016 was spent on us becoming more and more assimilated. In February of 2016, after we returned from Maui, I set up a calendar for us. If she added things to it, I would see them and vice versa. It was a way for her to have a bit of a handle on my mostly chaotic schedule and for me to see what she had planned, be it recitals with her daughter Katelyn’s dance, family events, doctors appointments etc. It was just another way to feel even more connected despite our distant romance. We still keep that calendar.

On March 25 to April 1st, Kelly’s Aunt Bev, Cousin Harry and his daughter Kira came from Ontario to visit Kelly’s family in Victoria. We all had a wonderful time together. Out of respect for Kelly, her kids and family, I always rented a hotel room in those days so as not to make things uncomfortable in any way. It was simply the right thing to do. I knew I was in this relationship for the long haul, so in my mind it was a temporary measure towards a long and wonderful life together. Aunt Bev was starting to show signs of full blown dementia by then, but she was as sweet a woman as you could ever meet. Cousin Harry was always the life of the party and we hit it off immediately. Kira was a lovely, sweet teenager with a beautiful smile and they all made me feel comfortable in their presence and indeed, a welcome part of the family.

On the weekend of April 1st, we celebrated the first month we saw each other with a trip back to Saltspring Island. We stayed in a little cabin nestled in with a bunch of other cabins; each with their own theme. Ours was called ‘The Love Shack’ and it was truly appropriate. We were able to hook up with Dale Schweighardt and his wife Susan for lunch. I was able to thank him for the gig at Moby’s the previous year that ended up changing the course of my life. We had a great time and kelly left a card with a note to the owners of the cabins.

As the year progressed, sometimes when I was flying in from a tour with Randy or something, I would make my home destination flight to Victoria. I would have time with Kelly as long as possible and when I had to go, I would either fly back out of Victoria to go back on the road or she would drop me off at the ferry where my old friend Doug Howden (RIP) would pick me up and drive me home. That guy never said no to me. For him to do that trip for me…from his home to the ferry and then to drive me home was at minimum a 3 hour commitment on his end. He was so happy for Kelly and I. He adored her as everyone did and he just knew how hard it was for us not being in the same city. What a guy Doug Howden was. I miss you pal. MS is a terrible way to die.

On the anniversary of the first time I told Kelly I loved her, she was driving me back to the ferry to go back to Coquitlam from a visit with her in Victoria. It was now September 19, 2016.

I asked her to take a side road on the way and presented her with this ring. The old fashioned description may be a ‘promise ring’, but I think of it as a ‘the best is yet to come ring’. She was surprised, loved it and I was in heaven. I floated onto the ferry that day.

A week later, we went away to Santa Rosa California and, amongst other things, went through many of the wineries in Napa Valley. We celebrated my birthday with the ‘Free Birthday Breakfast’ at Dennys!

It was a marvellous time. We stopped into a little boutique clothing store in St. Helena in Napa Valley. In the middle f the store was the most beautiful long white coat I had ever seen. I asked Kelly to try it on and she loved it. I took a picture of it even. Sadly, we just felt it was a bit too pricey for our budget, so we left the store and sighed about that coat. (“I have to figure out how to get that for her for Christmas”…was running through my mind). Sadly, I hadn’t written down the name of the store we saw it in, so I tried friends in the clothing business… I tried everything under the sun to get that coat for her. Finally, in desperation I looked up ‘clothing stores in St. Helene’. After about 4 tries I finally got lucky… not only did they still have the coat, they remembered Kelly and I and how lovely she looked in it. In the end she was kind enough to give me a deal for not only that coat but a similar one in a darker colour. She gift wrapped them and had them shipped to me. They arrived about a week and half before Christmas.

We actually had been ‘humouring’ the thought of marriage already, but not too seriously.

Some of Kelly’s friends had recently become engaged so it was the talk of the time I suppose. One day in November 2016, we were walking through a mall in Victoria, and we stopped at a jewelry store for a ‘look-see’. In the display case was a stunning ring. Kelly loved it. We walked away but I knew what I had to do. As Kelly was exiting the mall, I asked her to get me a latte at Starbucks but I had to go to the bathroom while she did that. As soon as I was out of her sight, I ran full-tilt to the jewelry store and bought the ring. I was wearing ‘cargo shorts’ that day, so the ring box wasn’t noticeable in the pocket when I joined back up with her.

That ring started a pretty ambitious plan in my head. Although I was Italian, I had never been to Italy before.

I had, had several opportunities when I played many times in Warsaw, Poland over the previous decade to take quick junkets to Rome, but decided I didn’t want to go to Italy unless I went with the right girl. Now there was added a slight variation to that simple little promise to myself. Not only was I taking ‘the right girl’ to Italy, I now decided that I was going to ask her to marry me as well! Since my actual last name is ‘Dalla-Vicenza’ (quick translation: ‘From Vicenza’), I decided that Kelly and I would go to Italy, but on the anniversary of the first time I told her I loved her, this time I would ask her to marry me in Vicenza, Italy….essentially asking her to be a ‘Dalla-Vicenza’ in Vicenza. Heady stuff and about as romantic a thing as I could think of but she deserved nothing less!

For almost an entire year, I kept that engagement ring hidden in my backpack.I generally always travel with a backpack, so it would always be with me…safe and secure.

Kelly and I started making plans in January of 2017 to go to Italy in the fall. She had no idea what my ultimate plan was of course, but she was excited (as was I) that we would actually travel to Italy. Once again, I had so many frequent flyer miles that the tickets to and from Rome were covered. After many discussions with friends we knew who had been to Italy, we decided we would use AirBnb’s throughout our two week trip there. We had everything booked by February of 2017… flights, accommodations, trains, car rentals  – it was all done. Kelly wondered of course why I was adamant about being in Vicenza by September 19, 2017, but she played along with my desire. After three days in Rome and the Vatican, we would train it up to Vicenza. Our trip was going to be epic! Kelly wanted to plan my birthday which was September 30th, which fell on the day before we flew back from Rome to Vancouver/Victoria.

I got ahold of the person who ran our cute little AirBnb in Vicenza and I told her of my plans.

I emailed her: “Paola. My girlfriend doesn’t know this, but I want to propose to her in Vicenza. My dream is to be up on a hill overlooking Vicenza with a picnic basket of local meats, cheeses, bread and wine… with a checkerboard tablecloth on the grass. While overlooking Vicenza, I would like to ask her to be a ‘Dalla-Vicenza”.

Paola said she would look into such a place for me. I was as giddy as a young boy.

A few days later Paola wrote me back saying: “Mick, there is no such area in Vicenza, however, there is a restaurant with an outdoor terrace overlooking the city that would be a beautiful place for such a thing as long as you don’t mind some people sitting around you.”

I wrote back that, that would be just as perfect – so everything was set. We were going to Italy! I had a beautiful engagement ring I was carrying around like it was oxygen (which it kind of was) and I was going to ask Kelly Gillow Munro to be my wife. Crazy!

Then Randy Bachman’s manager at the time, Gilles Paquin called. “Mick, we’ve been invited to play The Invictus games in Toronto on September 30th by Prince Harry. Apparently BTO is one of his favourite bands so he’s asked Bachman & Turner to play with a number of other acts on the bill. I asked who they were and he said, Bryan Adams, Kelly Clarkson and Coeur de Pirate. I said, well Gilles, I’ve planned to go to Italy at that time to ask Kelly to be my wife. We could fly back a day early to Toronto to do the Invictus gig, but I know Kelly wants to celebrate my birthday there. It’s literally the trip of a lifetime for us. Gilles said, ‘Let me talk to Randy and we’ll get back to you’.

The next day Gilles said, Randy said this will be an important trip for you. Keep your plans and we’ll get Randy’s son Tal to fill in for you at The Invictus Games. I was happy – they were happy…it was all good.

We couldn’t wait!  We were to leave for Italy on September 14th and come back on October 1st. I told only a handful of people what my plans were. (After all, there was a chance she would say ‘no’)

On March 3rd, Kelly came over to my place in Coquitlam for the weekend. She had always wanted a huge bathtub as she loves baths, so I had my bathroom renovated with a massive shower, a wonderful sink/vanity and a bathtub you could bath a horse in. She loved it. We called it our ‘SPA’. I had an area with brand new white terrycloth bathrobes hung on hooks that were labeled, “Mock & Jelly”. Due to our long distance romance, a lot of our courtship was spent texting each other. iMessage and it’s wonderful ‘auto spell check’ option, would often change ‘Mick’ to ‘Mock’ and ‘Kelly’ to ‘Jelly’. We laughed at how cute it was at the time and thus the hooks were labeled with those names.

I had gigs that Friday and Saturday night at a casino in the Greater Vancouver area (Langley) that she loved to come to see me play at. Our friend Dave Reimer was substituting for Brent on the Friday and we always loved to see Dave. After all, if it wasn’t for him, Kelly and I would have never actually become a couple!

On Sunday, I was downstairs preparing a dinner and Kelly was up enjoying a bath in that giant tub. Kelly yelled down with concern in her voice… “Mick, could you come here?”

I went upstairs and she looked at me and said four of the worst words I could have ever heard at that moment…

“I found a lump in my breast”

Understandably, Kelly was utterly mortified and completely scared. She had only lost her mom a few years earlier and watched her mother die a horrible death. Trying to help her calm down and with my own fears rising, I went into ‘damage control mode’ and assured Kelly that it was probably ‘just a calcium deposit’ or something benign. We went about the rest of her visit at my house the best we could.

When she returned to Victoria, she immediately had a doctor’s visit. Now, Kelly’s mom died of lung cancer, in no doubt spurned from her smoking habit. Kelly had no bad habits. She drank very little, never smoked ever, and aside from what doctors prescribe, had never even seen any drugs in her lifetime – including pot! She ate healthy and kept her stress levels to a bare minimum. There’s no way she could have cancer!

Kelly phoned me a few hours after her doctor’s visit and subsequent emergency radiology appointment. She could barely get the words out… “My biggest fear…. I have cancer!”. Holding back tears, I told her before we said goodbye on the phone that I would be there at her side ASAP.

As I alluded to above, taking the ferry to Victoria is not ‘quick’ and involves many hours of driving, lineups and waiting. For daily business people and government workers, in downtown Vancouver and near the YVR international airport, ‘Harbour Air’ operates daily to and from the Victoria Inner Harbour which was fairly close to where Kelly lived at Saxe Point. I phoned Harbour Air and they had a flight leaving in about an hour and a half from Vancouver harbour. The trouble was, I couldn’t leave my car in downtown Vancouver (where the float plane departed from) and to take transit wouldn’t have been efficient with regards to the nature of this delicate situation.

My neighbour Penny Fraser and I had become quite close of all my years at my townhouse at ‘Creekside Estates’. She had keys to my house and mailbox and would generally keep an eye out on my property for me when I was away. She had come to know Kelly a bit with her visits, and her dog ‘Bruno’ was a real character. I phoned Penny and told her the situation and she offered to drive me all the way to the Harbour Air terminal. It was at least a two hour round trip with rush hour looming. It was an incredibly generous thing to do. When she came to the door, it all came out. I literally fell on my knees crying. Penny had lost her husband Dwight to cancer as well… and knowing my history, she was welling with tears herself as she tried to console me. I packed a quick bag (my faithful backpack with the ring tucked safely inside) and off we went to the Vancouver Harbour in record time. I made the next flight.

When I arrived at the waterfront harbour in Victoria (roughly about a 30 minute flight as compared to the 5 hours it would take me using a car and the ferry), Kelly met me in he parking lot. She had been crying since she heard the news. She was petrified.

Cancer picks no favourites. Kelly had no bad habits as I mentioned above….why this…and why now? That’s an answer that continues to plague us to this day, although we try not to dwell on it at this point. We try to live our life without searching for unanswerable questions.

Kelly started treatment almost immediately. We had a meeting with the surgeon who Kelly hand picked to do the job. Having been in the medical field in Victoria pretty much her whole adult life, Kelly knew the reputations of most doctors and the one she chose (who shall remain nameless in this story for reasons you will soon see) came with the highest credentials. He was ‘the best’.

Kelly’s biopsy reported that she had two tumours in her breast and it appeared that she had a lymphatic invasion.

To be continued…